There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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