so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
