Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
