I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
