Where is the hickey?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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