wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
