if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
