That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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