Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
