She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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