if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
