A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
