whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
