No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
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