Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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