No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
