im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
