So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
