Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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