He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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