gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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