I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
if only i could text you this smell
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize