So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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