break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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