i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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