I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
