Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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