ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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