I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
