I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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