That's intense
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
please come you make the beer taste better
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
