how do flat chested girls get laid?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
