I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
