Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
