You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
