whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
