btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
