is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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