My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i think i have two assholes
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
