Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
