Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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