I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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