it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
