you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
