what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize