I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize