In the future we'll all be gay
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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