Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
