she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
