just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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