After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize