guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
