Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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