My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
