Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
