I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
