On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
