Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
