i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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