haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
