Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I want her autograph on my taint
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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