Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We were destined to go to rehab together
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
