Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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