Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's official drugs can't kill me
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
