lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
