i just wanna soil my oats bro
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
