So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
