Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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