Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
